Kostko argues that awkwardness shares an intrinsically social characterestic; it solely arises from breaking or avoiding societal rules. However, when these norms are unknown, it results in what Kotsko calls “cultural awkwardness”. These situations where the standards are set but cannot be identified or followed, leading to comically awkward situations. I argue that Cultural Awkwardness is particularly evident in the Portrayal of First Dates in 2000s and 2010’s TV shows.
When approaching a first date, each individual has their expectations. Because of the lack of knowledge of the other person, these expectations can sometimes lead to moments of awkward tension and or more dramatic clashes. Sit-coms have often profited off of this by basing many of their episodes on first dates. Bojack Horseman (Rapheal Bob-Wakesberg, 2014, USA) does it in the season 3 episode “Love and/or Marriage”, where Princess Carolyn (a cat) goes on three dates with men, each one worse than the last—ending with a date with a mouse (Ralph Stilton). Other Shows, such as How I Met Your Mother (John Swihart, 2005, USA), base their entire show’s plot on dating and the awkward First Date interactions. Episodes like Naked Man from season 4, episode 9, show this perfectly. When Robin goes on a Blind Date with a man whose signature move are surprising women by being naked in their houses, this is supposed to work 2/3 times, and the comical moment within the show is when Ted and Barney try it. Barney’s attempt fails miserably, as seen here.
A less exaggerated example is the series’ first episode, where Robin and Ted go on a first date, ending with Ted telling Robin that he loves her. At the same time, it is a pretty obvious dating ‘rule’ that people shouldn’t express such strong emotions when first meeting, leading to a very awkward situation and an abrupt ending to a date that was previously going well.
TV shows such as How I met your mother thrive off of the cultural awkwardness presented within dates. The rules of these situations are so ambiguous that the slightest slip-up will cause a very awkward and funny scenario.
How I Met Your Mother (John Swihart, 2005, USA) Youtube.
Bojack Horseman (Rapheal Bob-Wakesberg, 2014, USA)
Adam Kotsko, Awkwardness: An Essay (Ropley: Zero, 2010), 1-28.
I really like your parallel between cultural awkwardness and the presentation of the “first date” scenes in recent comedy shows. I think awkwardness in romantic films/series is very common exactly for the reason that when people are “on a date”, they try to make the best possible impression on the subject of their affection which inevitably raises the stakes and makes the whole situation even more vulnerable to awkwardness.
The awkwardness felt on first dates reminds me of the awkwardness felt after a couple has broken up or separated. Passing each other on the street, and not saying a word to one another, or simply coming across each other in social gatherings leads to a lot of awkward tension.
There’d also an element of the inherently relatable aspects of an awkward first date as most of them tend to be. Like, even though Ted and Robin are best friends, the date ends up being awkward. Maybe the convention is that first dates are awkward.
I think this is a really good example of the popularity of awkward comedy. As you say it is an arranged collision of unknown expectations. Another good example of this is the Channel 4 reality show First Dates, where couples meet for the first time and have their first date on camera. Many of these dates result in moments of toe curling awkwardness.
I think ‘First Dates’ is an interesting example of this awkwardness in reality TV. A lot of the awkwardness seems to come from negotiating traditional gender roles. The weakening of these historically strong social norms creates a level of uncertainty around the extent of conformity. Perhaps this is similar to Kotsko’s notion of ‘cultural awkwardness’.