A Real Pain depicts absurdity and the struggle against it in both main characters. Two cousins, Benji and David, embark on a guided trip to visit the Polish concentration camp where their grandmother was held during the holocaust.
In his essay, “The Absurd,” Thomas Nagel breaks down the human urge to uphold inexplicable norms. The natural draw to maintain “the general system of habits and the form of life in which such motives have their place – or perhaps only by clinging to life itself.” (Nagel 719) By this he is referencing the inability to prove the grave importance assigned to such insignificant systems which have no rooting in universal continuity. Nagel writes: “Leading a human life is a full time occupation to which everyone devotes decades of intense concern.” (Nagel 720) In A Real Pain, David leads a life entirely occupied with concern and Benji lives in a way one may not deem human. The incompatible responses to absurdity create comedy in their interactions with each other and the world.
Nagel depicts two archetypes of people who successfully attempt to decrease the absurdity in their lives. The first is someone who “lacks the capacities for self-consciousness and self-transcendence.” (Nagel 725) This is not a natural state for humans. Nagel argues that one without this consciousness would lead a generally less absurd life, as they would not be attempting to give meaning to any situation. In A Real Pain, Benji embodies this way of living. He acts completely un-self-consciously. Benji is living entirely through his own impulse, thus diminishing the absurdity of his life, according to Nagel’s definition.
The other way in which absurdity can be avoided, is through acting entirely self-consciously, which David embodies. Nagel writes one must be “willing to take considerable trouble to avoid being creaturely and absurd.” (Nagel 726) David suffers from OCD and is very concerned with acting in a particularly normal and civil way. He is more recognizable as a normal person than his cousin, as he sticks to the norms of civilization to a fault. This decreases absurdity in his life because he never questions these norms.
In this clip, the cousins both display these qualities particularly. Benji reacts to a group member’s story about the Rwandan Genocide in impulsive, seemingly insensitive way (“Oh Snap!”). This causes anxiety for David who attempts to apologize for Benji’s behavior, maintaining the system of normal behavior. The man instead appreciates Benji’s sentiments making David’s reaction seem unnecessary. This interaction is absurd because in Benji’s response was insensitive, and becomes more absurd when David apologizes on behalf of a remark the man finds empathetic.
(Start at 2:34-3:13)
I loved A Real Pain! I think it’s funny that in some scenes, Benji’s abberations to the norm are what make him endlessly likeable and possessing of a self-knowledge that David does not have whereas in others, like the painfully awkward moment on the train to Auschwitz, he is punished for being too honest.